


Lights in the Darkness

by Sazzypantz



Category: modao zushi, 魔道祖师 | Módào Zǔshī (Cartoon)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, Single Dads AU, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-13
Updated: 2020-04-13
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:48:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23626408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sazzypantz/pseuds/Sazzypantz
Summary: Lan Wangji succumbs to his wounds leaving his son in the care of his brother. Through pain of mourning loved ones, two uncles are left raising their nephews. Through shared grief and the friendship of children, love blooms in an unsuspecting place.
Relationships: Jiāng Chéng | Jiāng Wǎnyín/Lán Huàn | Lán Xīchén, Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī/Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn
Comments: 11
Kudos: 45





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Things are gonna get worse before they get better, but just cuz there's a "major character death" doesn't mean it's permanent. I cant revive Wei Ying without his husband, right???
> 
> So, sorry for the tears, enjoy some hurt comfort!

_Lan Zhan? Oh, my Lan Zhan. What have they done to you, my love?_

He’s in and out consciousness: sometimes he’s alone when he wakes, sometimes it's their most skilled healer, or his uncle and brother. They look devastated everytime, but he doesn’t know why; his head is foggy and it’s cold.

So cold.

Sometimes it’s his Wei Ying sitting at his bedside, combing his hair back with his fingers and chasing away the cold with a smile as warm and blinding as the sun. His heart yearns for him, but his limbs are heavy as cement and his mouth is glued shut with exhaustion. He falls asleep to his honey sweet whispers of rest and recovery.

_Lan Zhan, did you know? That you’re my favorite person. You know that, right, Lan Zhan? I made so many mistakes, I should have just gone back to Gusu with you. Now that’s all I want._

_Funny how we want things once they’re impossible, right?_

He doesn’t know how much time has passed before he’s able to think properly and stay awake long enough to speak and eat. The room is disappointingly empty, save for the kind healers trying to feed him and give him medicine. When he’s finally had enough of being poked and prodded he turns to his cousin and asks her, “Where’s Wei Ying?”

She freezes immediately, mouth flapping like a Koi, and says nothing more than, “I shall fetch you Zewu-Jun.”

Lan Xichen wasn’t who he asked for though. Has Wei Ying left already, while he was still recovering? It didn’t make sense to him, Wei Ying had just been there before he woke up. All thoughts come to a halt when his brother enters, expression clouded with regret. What has he done to look so remorseful?

“Wangji--”

“Where’s Wei Ying?”

Lan Xichen sighs softly, a defeated and agonized sound, but he steps closer to sit beside him in the bed. “Wanji, you need to rest. This isn’t a discussion we should be having in this state,” he says gently, laying a soothing hand on his brother's arm.

“I want to see him.”

“I’m afraid that’s impossible,” he replies kindly.

“He was just here.”

That brings Lan Xichen to a stop to his protests, frozen at his brother’s. Lan Wangji notices his brother's hesitancy and it makes him even more anxious for his love. “Bring him to me,” he demands in a hoarse, desperate tone. “I need to see him!”

“Wangji, I can’t--”

“Please!”

The wall of calm Lan Xichen has expertly crafted finally cracks, face crumbling into devastation.  
Lan Xichen swallows and takes a few breaths, but his voice still cracks as he whispers, “Wangji….. Wei Wuxian has died…”

The silence is deafening.

Lan Wangji pushes himself up, ignoring the agony of his wounds, and cries. “No.. no. No-- Wei Ying--” he gasps and sobs, tears flowing from him.

It’s easy to lay him back down, Lan Wangji’s spirit and heart are broken, shattered into dust with all hope and strength of will and he puts up no fight. He could see the pain of regret and guilt on his brother’s face, but it meant nothing to Lan Angji. Wei Ying, his love, was gone.

“Wangji--I’m so sorry…” He gave no reply to his brother, but was aware enough in his own greed to allow his brother to hold him, comfort him, and share in his grief.

_Do you remember the bunnies I gave you? It was the first rule I ever saw you break-- no pets at Cloud Recesses, right? Ha, well, I know how much you love them. I have another little bunny to give you, but this one you need to cherish with your whole heart, okay?_

_Go find my little bunny, in his little rabbit hole._

_My A-Yuan._

He sneaks off in the dead of night before anyone could stop him. His back is in agony, but he ignores it. Any pain is worth ignoring for the last remaining piece of his heart. The trip to the burial mounds feels as though it dragged on for years and years, but by sword he’s there before dawn. The place is destroyed and Lan Zhan tries his best to not think about what had happened, what treasure had been lost, but all the corpses of Wei Ying’s reanimated army was clear enough. It takes some time, but he finds A-Yuan, hidden from any who might find him. He recognizes Lan Zhan, however, and runs to him with tears falling down his face. Lifting the child into his arms causes the wounds to tear and bleed again, but Lan Zhan ignores it. All that mattered was getting A-Yuan food and cleaned and changed into clean clothes.

“Where’s Baba?” A-Yuan murmures to him, through sniffles and tears, and Lan Zhan has to fight back his own.

“Gone…” he whispers to him with all the pained seriousness he’d address an adult with. “But not on purpose. Baba loved A-Yuan.”

A-Yuan cries for his lost father and it comforts Lan Zhan as much as it pained him; at least there was one person left in the world that loved Wei Ying. As long as there was one, Lan Zhan’s heart could rest easy.

My Lan Zhan is so good, so, so good! Did you know that? I should have told you sooner. I should have loved you every second of every day!

Ah, but I was young and stupid. The beautiful Hanguang-Jun looking at a nobody like? It was too much for me to bear! How wrong I was though, right? I don’t deserve your love, but I always had it. I still don’t but that won't change your mind, will it, Lan Zhan?

I wish we could raise our son together.

The trip to retrieve A-Yuan has torn open his wounds, infecting them, but Lan Zhan refuses all care and rest until his child is sworn in as a Lan. He knew, he knew that he was-- all that matters is that A-Yuan would always be a Lan and would always have a home among his family. Lan Yuan, Lan Shizui, his son. Everyone knows he was Wei Wuxian’s, but no one dares say a single thing to him. Lan Xichen, his eyes full of regret, promises to care for Shizui so that his brother could rest.

The next time he sees his son he is clean and fed, wearing Lan robes and a headband of his own, showing his new Baba all the toys Uncle had given him. Lan Zhan smiled openly at this wondrous child, trying to memorize every little thing about him. He never wants to forget him. “Did you thank Uncle?” he asked weakly.

“Mn! I did!” he happily replies, spinning the little drum toy. Wei Ying had loved those, hadn’t he? A-Yuan was so much like his father.

Lan Wangji hopes his brother could see all the love and happiness A-Yuan brings him, and hopes it was enough for Lan Xichen to keep his word and protect his nephew. “A-Yuan? It’s late, why don’t we go to bed? You can stay with Uncle while Baba rests, okay?”

“Okay! Ni-night, Baba. Feel good soon,” he saids in the sweetest tone, waving at Lan Zhan with his tiny, child arms; He loves him so much.

“Goodnight, A-Yuan.”

_You make a good Baba, Lan Zhan. Total hot dad material, haha! Too bad I can’t take advantage of this, I would say “Let’s make a baby, Lan Zhan” just to see how red your ears got!_

_Ah, but no need to think about that now. My love needs his rest. Get stronger, okay? For our baby._

The fevers set in almost immediately and refuse to break. It tortured them to do so, but each wound needed to be reopened and cleaned, cutting open each scab without anything for the pain. They couldn’t get Lan Wangji to take anything, anyways, he was too lost to react to them. Hopefully the fever fog was enough to distract from the pain.

Clean, sanitize, healing balms; no matter how many times they did it, the infection just kept getting worse and worse. No one said it, but they all knew the truth: Hanguang-Jun was dying from his whip wounds.

Lan Qiren only visited when the news was brought to him. At first he kept his distance to further cement the punishment in him, so Lan Wangji could realize his mistakes despite Yiling Laozu’s death; but the thought of his whipping marks being the reason his precious nephew was dying? That was too much for his heart to bear.

He visited every chance he got, not that Lan Wangji was aware of anything anymore. Lan Xichen would bring A-Yuan too, but only when he knew Lan Zhan wouldn’t be semi-conscious and murmuring nonsense, or worse-- Wei Wuxian’s name. They were helpless before their brother, father, nephew, and not even all the spiritual energy poured into him was helping.

Lan Zhan was going to die and all they could do was watch.

_Oh, my poor Lan Zhan. You’re still so tired. I’m so sorry…. But, you know what? I’ll make you some food, just how you like it! Hey, I mean it! No spices, I swear, just that boring plant food you love so much._

_Lan Zhan? It’s time to come home now._

The next time his eyes open he sees his family before him. He’s on his back, he realizes absently. Perhaps his wounds had healed?

_They have, my darling._

“Wangji--” “Wangji, I’m so sorry--” “Babaaa… Baba wake up…”

Devastation, regret, sorrow… he hears it all, but his brain can’t make the connection.

_You are loved by so many, of course._

Oh, he knows that voice. His glassy eyes track the sound and see him beside his brother, smiling so radiently it filled the room with a bright light. “My…. Wei Ying….” his words were rough and weak, but his family understood; they knew.

“We love you so much, Wangji,” Lan Xichen croaks and clutches a crying A-Yuan in his arms.

“Wangji-- I’m so sorry. Please forgive your Uncle!”

The voices grew quieter and quieter until it was just him and Wei Ying standing on a mountain path. He was so radiant and beautiful, no longer burdened with troubles and pain he never should have experienced. After all the waiting and miscommunications, Lan Zhan wants nothing more than to hold him in his arms and never let go.

_Wei Ying seems to sense his dilemma and holds his palm out for Lan Zhan to take. “It’s time to let go, Lan Zhan.”_

He took his hand as a single raspy breath left his blue lips. Once shining amber eyes were dull and clouded, lifeless as he stared into the space he’d joined Wei Ying in. His fingers and toes had grown darker and darker the slower his heart pumped and as his family clutched onto his body as if to ground him, to keep Lan Wangji there with them for just a moment longer.

Before their very eyes Lan Wangji had left the world.

Before their very eyes he was joined by his soulmate once again, never to be separated.


	2. Chapter 1

_‘It’s so calm here…’_

_‘Mn.’_

_When Wei Ying looked up at him Lan Zhan was the perfect picture of serenity, body and soul. To think, all they needed was to just say three simple words to each other and things wouldn’t have gotten so bad. Three words and neither of them would have been alone anymore; they’d have each other, they’d protect one another, and stand by each other’s side no matter the consequences. Ah, if only they had the courage to say such things to each other years ago._

_‘Lan Zhan?’_

_‘Mn.’_

_‘I love you.’ Wei Ying was left speechless as Lan Zhan actually smiled at him, with his beautiful eyes and kissable lips. Poor Wei Ying didn’t stand a chance against Lan Zhan’s ethereal beauty._

_‘I love you, Wei Ying.’_

~~________~~

“Uncle, Uncle!” A-Yuan cried and reached up his tiny arms to Lan Xichen. Big alligator tears were already beginning to form and his uncle was so weak to any distress from the young boy.

He gently scooped the boy into his arms and elegantly took a seat on the steps. “A-Yuan,” he began and gently stroked his chubby cheeks. “I won’t be gone long, I promise. I will be home in just a few days.”

“Don’t go,” he sobbed and Xichen did his best to wipe away the tears as they fell. He scrubbed at his eyes and curled into Lan Xichen’s chest, crying and clinging to his robes. “Don’t leave Uncle, like Babas!”

It was a stab to the heart and Lan Xichen’s resolve crumbled in the face of his nephew's misery. They’d all lost so much, but none more than A-Yuan. His Wen family members, both of his fathers, of course he would be terrified that his uncle leaving would mean he lost him. “I won’t,” he whispered to the child, holding him tighter. “I won’t leave you, A-Yuan.”

In the end they left together, Lan Xichen spinning the story of going on a fun trip and buying him sweets just to see a smile return to his face. Though he wasn’t related by blood, his smile was bright like his late father’s. It was no wonder Lan Zhan had loved the child so fiercely when he could have easily been mistaken as the true child of both the Wei and Lan. But of course, thinking about his brother, his death, the agony he’d helped put him through to kill his love, none of those were thoughts he wished to dwell on in public. Instead he concentrated on the present, on the curious child beside him.

They talked about towns, animals, random plants he pointed out along the way, and of all the clans he was going to meet. The meeting at LanlingJin would be a simple one, first meant for the clans to get together and take stock on how each sect’s resources were after the battles. It was supposed to be a formal opportunity to lend aid to their brothers and allies, but after the recent events Lan Xichen knew Lan Wanji’s death was going to be a big topic. They would have questions, suspicions, theories and accusations, and they were right to have them. He’d died of his punishment wounds; Gusu Lan and all their rules were responsible for his brother’s death. If someone were to accuse them of such a thing or even worse, then they certainly deserved it.

“Uncle! Is that it??” A-Yuan asked suddenly and pulled Xichen from his thoughts. He had picked him up early, but a child wiggling with excitement was hard to keep purchase on.

“Yes, it is. A-Yuan, do you remember how to introduce yourself?” he asked with a smile.

A-Yuan thought for a moment and did the bow, as well as he could while being held, and announced, “Hello. I am Lan Shizui from Gusu.”

“Good boy, A-Yuan. That was perfect.”

With a kiss to his cheek he placed A-Yuan, Lan Shizui, on the ground. They walked through the gates, hand-in-hand, and Lan Xichen suddenly felt nervous. A-Yuan was a good boy and followed instructions well, but if anyone were to find out he was previously a Wen, or worse, Wei Wuxian’s, the Jin clan wouldn’t be as kind or welcoming any longer.

Jin servants appeared and were surprised at the child at his side, but to their credit they did not falter in their task. A handmaiden took A-Yuan to meet and play with the young master Jin Ling while the servants brought the noble Zewu-Jun to the meeting hall. With every step his heart sinks lower and lower knowing he would have to face Wanji’s death all over again. All the questions, accusations, the details he’d have to give to the other leaders so they’d know it was their fault his brother was dead. It was what he deserved for being so blind to his brother’s motivations, for not not standing by him and refusing to let them punish him.

He would now have to stand before the other leaders and admit that the Lan clan killed their beloved Twin Jade.

The agony of losing his brother was a fresh, painful wound, and the more he focused on it the tighter his chest felt, the more his vision began to tunnel. Tears stung at his eyes and his thoughts were a raging storm of “this is your fault”; “you betrayed your brother’s trust”; “you killed Wangji!”

“Zewu-Jun?”

The familiar voice silenced the thoughts and pulled him from the spiral of grief. Sharp and full of emotion, it was not a voice he often heard concern from. Trying his best to compose himself, Lan Xichen took a few breaths and forced a smile before turning to face Jiang Cheng on the steps.

As always, ever since he became leader, Jing Cheng looked equal parts intimidating, powerful, and handsome, but that day was different; there was something more, something taxing on the young man. A sadness, much like his own, and Lan Xichen felt like a fool for not realizing it sooner. Wei Wuxian, though he’d gone mad, was Jiang Cheng’s brother. No matter how far he’s fallen, of course he’d mourn the loss of the last of his family.

“Sect Leader Jiang,” he fretted with a bow. “It is good to see you.”

Jiang Cheng seemed uncomfortable, shifting where he stood as he looked the Lan up and down. He’d never seen Lan Xichen so upset, seeing right through the man’s carefully crafted composure, and it made him uncomfortable.

“Are you okay?” He asked, ignoring formalities. Grief had its own social rules, he had decided.

The responding smile was strained as his eyes flicked to the ground. Jiang Cheng didn’t need his answer, it was obvious how Lan Xichen was doing and he couldn't bear to talk about it yet. “The meeting will start soon. We should find our seats.”

Jiang Cheng dutifully followed after the older man, deciding not to comment anymore on the topic. Upon entering, the room fell silent as all eyes fell on the two. While Jiang Cheng was celebrated for Wei Wuxian’s death, it seemed the pity of Lan Wangji’s spilled to him as well, if just a small amount; two men, both lacking their brothers. The two parted ways and wordlessly took their seats in hopes to shake off the looks of their peers, but it didn’t stop until Jin Guangshan cleared his throat. Within the hour the man started the conference in the worst possible way.

“Let us all take a moment to mourn the loss of one of the Twin Jade’s, Lan Wangji.”

Lan Xichen’s heart sank as all eyes turned once more to him and he dreaded the oncoming questions. One of the smaller sect leaders opened his mouth to do just that, but he was quickly silenced by Jin Guangyao urging the discussion along. Not for the first time, Lan Xichen appreciated the sweet man and his kindness to him.

“The death of Lan Wangji is a tragedy indeed, but it is a private matter. Please respect his family at this time and let them mourn their loss in peace,” he had said to which he and Lan Xichen exchanged knowing and mournful looks. “On the topics of losses…”

The formal discussions of harvest, loss, and supplies stores are enough of a distraction to keep Lan Xichen’s heart and misery tightly bound and shoved away for later. Even as discussions progressed Jiang Cheng often looked at him, but it wasn’t with pity. No, Jiang Cheng knew well the pain of losing a brother, a sibling, and it gave them a common ground. They weren’t so different, in the end.

When the day ended Lan Xichen left before anyone, especially Jin Guangyao or Nei Mingjue, could speak to him. He’d been lucky to avoid the prying questions he had so dreaded, but that luck would end if his closest friends were able to corner him. Jiang Cheng left just as quickly as Lan Xichen, and much to his surprise, they were both headed in the same direction. The sext leader was never one to be social, but the circumstances made him want it even less. Keeping a respectful distance from Lan Xichen, Jiang Cheng followed along in silence.

“Uncle!” a tiny voice cried and Jiang Cheng looked on in surprise as a young child ran to Lan Xichen’s open arms.

“A-Yuan, did you have fun?” he asked with a tired smile and the child nodded enthusiastically.

Jiang Cheng walked up then to accept the sleeping Jin Ling from the nannies. “You have a nephew?” he asked.

Lan Xichen hesitated for a moment before replying, “Wangji adopted him.”

“Where did he get a-” A-Yuan. Right. He had heard Yanli mention Wei Wuxian adopting a child. “He’s a Lan now?”

“He’s a Lan.” It was said gently, as a matter of fact, but they both knew it was a challenge for Jiang Cheng to say something more about the origins of the child, now backed by the second most powerful clan in the cultivation world. But Jiang Cheng wasn’t stupid and was tired- so tired.

“Can’t imagine Jin Ling was good company for him at this age,” he commented instead, rocking the sleeping toddler in his arms.

Lan Xichen looked at the nephew and uncle and noted how even at such a young age the family resemblance was strong. “Are you raising him yourself?”

“Who else is going to??”

“Ah- excuse my rudeness, Sect Leader Jiang, I meant no offence,” he immediately apologized. Lan Shizui looked between the two men, but stayed quietly snuggled into his uncle’s arms. He was doing remarkably well during the day, most of the time, for a child that had just lost two parents (the nightmares were a different story).

Jiang Cheng internally groaned at his knee-jerk response towards someone who didn’t deserve or need more stress piled on him. “No, it’s-- it’s fine,” he assured him with a long pause. “I’m sorry…”

Lan Xichen knew exactly what the apology was for and it wasn’t Jiang Cheng’s attitude. “Good Evening, Sect Leader Jiang.”

With nothing else to say, the two men parted ways to go to their quarters for the evening. In the morning they would leave again for Gusu, but in the meantime Lan Xichen was just thankful for the privacy to mourn and care for his nephew.


End file.
